I WANT ADULT COMEDY ON MY KENYAN T.V

Before i begin ranting i have a kind request especially to religious folks, if the above topic alone makes you uncomfortable please don't continue reading,i don't want to be on anyone's mouth on judgment day, thank you now the rest of you curious cats join me.

Let me repeat it again, i want adult comedy on my Kenyan t.v, since society has labeled me grown, i surely ought to have certain privileges like laugh at 'grown' stuff.
If you ask me,being entitled to my opinion, the Kenyan comedy scene is well,okay,not bad,pretty predictable though. Um maybe am one of those people whose ears are choosy, i don't know scientists have not come up with such a theory.
Yeah i love Churchill too,yes i do and i don't have another option anyway,  i wait for Thursday and Sunday nights like the rest of you,that is an awesome platform he got.
Nowadays i just manage a few giggles from the show to tell you the truth,its been long since i laughed till tears flowed on Sunday nights.
 To me the jokes are too predictable, one joke different comedians, that one joke is about comparing the uptown and the downtown people,rich dad poor dad,the Central vs Nyanza jokes,its all the same thing to me like seriously but in my defense i warned you i got choosy ears.
 The Churchill show is great but it is tamed, because its meant for the whole family,from big papa to kababa,its meant for everyone,things meant for everyone normally don't satisfy everyone,that is why they are selling flavored water nowadays.
If i tell a joke meant to be funny to an adolescent,an old man,a young adult and a baby,chances are not all of the above will laugh,that joke is TAMED.

Want do you want you insatiable girl? you might ask, well i want the Eddie Griffin funny, i want to wait for the water shed period and watch a Kenyan making a joke about how terrible of a kisser he is, how he fainted at the delivery room, how lame her boyfriends were in the sack,i want i want, i want.

Men please support me on this because you know what during those watershed periods,they bring soap operas where we watch poor Alejandro stick to Maria throughout her pregnancy,she will compare you to Alejandro and the next thing you know, you are on...deadbeat.
 As for you ladies,i bet your man would rather watch adult comedy with you than keep leaving to the nearest pub to watch Supersport with John, his buddy who you suspect is bad influence.
Now say it with me,'WE WANT ADULT COMEDY ON KENYAN T.V' .

Love and Light,
Mukami Ngari(means one who milks a leopard/tiger)

LETS SELL KENYA TO 2CHAINS

Now that 2CHAINS is coming to Kenya, i no longer find the 'he looks like Whoopi Goldberg joke' funny, it's an honor to have such a big star down here. I may not agree with his vocabulary on the female anatomy but i find myself nodding my head to his songs.

Now most of us have been infuriated by the Americans' response to his coming over here,oh well,we have misconceptions about them too,we overrate them and they underrate  us. Retaliating isn't going to cut it, isn't going to have a lasting impact,besides we have 'better' stuff to do online like asking each other 'hio pesa ya referendum in ya mama nani? or consulting on 'how to get guts like the guy who caned baba'.

What we can do though is sell Kenya to 2chains,dont unleash your claws yet,by selling i mean let's show him the real picture of who we are down here,how we do things,this might help reduce the American misconception that Africa is a village and that we all live in the White Masai movie setting.

Allow me, Provoking Eyes, to suggest a recipe of people and events that may help 'sell' Kenya to  2chains, if there is a promoter involved whatsoever, especially from central,he will require a translator, am thinking Bab,the UON student leader is good for the job,on second thought no,Babu's english is from another planet and there might be a comrade nearby ready to throw stones if 2CHAINS seems not to understand Babu.

Let's stick with Grace Msalame,the graceful beauty is a true representation of Africa and  African beauty. Beauty and brains,she definately has to interview him,she should be the official interviewer from the moment he lands,we can give Larry Madowo a second or two with him too.

Throw Mike Sonko into the mix, he got more than two chains on him, and i haven't heard of a senator like him anywhere but Nairobi. Unofficially official,he has his own way of doing things,his constituents are not complaining and i think  2chains would definately come back again if he hanged out with the senator, as long as Sonko doesn't wear the takataka ghasia tshirt. What do you think?

 An hour or two with Shaffie Weru is enough,we are not ready to produce the Hangover 4 movie,Shaffie will definately show 2CHAINS whats hot and whats not in Nairobi, he will show him how we roll.
2CHAINS won't feel like he was in Africa without a little safari, introducing maasailand,take him to the wild and let the most energetic masai's dance for him.

Infact make him a masai warrior give him a spear, a head piece and put some of that red clay on his dreadlocks. Also it would be good to take him to a rescue center where girls have been rescued from early marriages and FGM. Make him an ambassador, a man always feels good to be a knight in shining amour right?
Am thinking we should have a little boy who knows the lyrics to a PG song of the star,a clean version only,have the little boy sing this to the star,he will feel good about it trust me. If that happens please id like to meet the mother of the little boy.

On security matters,if they have to go on a one month training let them, i dont care but security has to be tight,extra tight,very tight. Please introduce a ratchet-o-meter and make sure no one tries to take off his one shoe as i hear they did back then with Sean Paul.

Someone tell the socialites that 2chains has a song about baby mama's,that's incase if one of them is interested and think they can succeed being his. Well,you have nothing to loose socialite,his purse will affect your pulse.Plus child support and everything,that's foreign taxes for Kenya.

 He definately has to meet the artistes down here,its up to them to show him what they got and Caligraph can show him that we got accents like they do too. We got good artistes down here and how they interact with him musically will determine whether he will spread word to his equally great artiste friends back there.

 Which could mean a lot for you artistes,i know you know what i mean am just emphasising the importance.
Kenya is a beautiful country with beautiful unique people and we cant wait for 2CHAINS to land here so we can show him who we are.

I dont expect you all to agree with me on this post,infact if i get only positive comments, i will know that my message has been misunderstood, also because most of the people on the Forbes list agree that if everyone
agrees with your ideas then they are definately stupid and well i want to be on the Forbes list.

Meanwhile,let me go consult with a doctor about kidneys,incase 2chains loves Kenya and Beyonce hears that Kenya is a great place and she decides to come. I just might sell my kidney if that happens. Hope you managed to get a giggle out of this post.
Love and Light,
Provoking Eyes.